Monday, July 30, 2007


I feel alot better. Been doing alot of reading. Right now I'm reading a novel by James Patterson. He is such a good author!
Today I went up to the nail salon.
My nails were just starveing for attention. (So am I, but thats a whole 'nother story) Anyway, my nails look good.
Thursday will be 'round 3' of chemo. I wonder if it's working? I think I mentioned that after the 4th chemo treatment, they will redo the scans (CT & Bone marrow biopsy) to see if I am winning this battle. I bet I am. Heck, I bet the bitch (cancer) won't even show for the fight! ;-)

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Well, I guess

It's about time I updated this I have attempted and intended to write this a few times, but I sat in front of the keyboard, stareing at a blank page, and I just lose interest. I have no interest in anything. Everything I do requires a major effort it seems. That includes showering, eating, etc. I just feel beat.
I haven't walked Zep in days. Poor dog. Just no energy whatsoever. I keep zoning out too.
Lost in space feeling.
I been spending all my time laying
in bed reading. And napping, and reading, and napping, etc.
The good news is I still have my hair! The texture has completely changed, but it is still on my head.
I've had no nausea at all.
Bottum line, I have had a very easy time going thru this chemo, as compared to how bad it can be.
That being said, I FEEL LIKE CRAP!! haha ok I had to get that out.
I am sitting at the kitchen table typing this on the laptop, Zepplin is laying by the front door, watching me.
I can read his thoughts....."WTF? What happened to my walk?
snap out of it! LET'S GO!!"

Saturday, July 14, 2007


I am back on the 'riods. I take 100mg., for 5 days, following every chemo treatment. Ugh! I can't stand the way they make me feel. Mentally, emotionally, they make me very sensitive and borderline nasty.
Inside my head, I edit every little thing I say, before I say it.
Roids make me pessimistic, very cynical and negative, with a very short fuse. Thoughout the day, little things that can go wrong, make me want to scream. Little petty nothing stuff; stuff that usually just rolls off my back,
seem to snowball, when I'm on 'roids.
I'm already high strung, always have been, I tend to run a little hot most of the time. You can't put out a fire with gasoline. My personallity just does not mix with steriods.
So, I am aware of it. I will continue to walk on eggshells inside my head,
and keep repeating my steroid mantra, which is: LET IT GO, LET IT GO, LET IT GO!

Here is a perfect example of my 'chemo-brain':
I looked endlessly for my keys today. Couldn't find them anywhere.
Right about the time I was ready to have a major temper tantrum, and just give up looking, I found them. Guess where they where? Hanging out of the deadbolt on the frontdoor, right where I left them when we came home last night. They hung there all night......opps!

Friday, July 13, 2007

Chemo - round #2

Yesterday was my 2nd chemo treatment, it went very well.
First stop was the lab, where they draw a blood sample.
Next stop was to see Dr. Zu. I keep a log, (since 1st staring chemo) as to what kind of night I had, and every morning I jot down side effects, reactions, etc. It is just a very brief but detailed record. Only one page long. I presented this log to Dr. Zu and he found it very helpful.
He was very pleased with my overall health,
and my (non) bad reactions to chemo. He said that my reactions, which have been minimal, is a very good sign. It probably means the chemo is working. After I have 2 more treatments, we will repeat the CT and bone marrow tests, to see exactly where my cancer stands. (or doesn't stand - if cancer was a person, I picture her knocked on her ass! lol)
Now onto the treatment room. Unfortunately, Rebecca, my (veins) favorite nurse, was not there yesterday. How sad. It was literally hit and miss, 3 times. BOO! I had been there since 9:30 and it was 11am by the time Nurse Vicky got the IV started! Yay for Vicky, she is my new favorite nurse. I was starting to get seriously frustrated, and once again, it was the spot I insisted they use, and it worked.
I know I can get a 'port' installed, to make this easier, but that is another procedure, and so far I just want to tough it out.
Thank the heavens Suzanne (my guardian angel) was with me to keep me distracted and laughing. She has been a rock for me and I am blessed to have her as my friend. ;-)
Once I got settled in, Suzanne had to scoot, to run some errands. I had my trusty lapyop, and a paperback book, which I can hardly put down. Its a novel by Danielle Steel, she just cranks them out!

Interesting people at the Cancer center. Most of the people just cozy up with blankets and recline in their chairs during treatment. Some of these people look really sick. In the chair next to me was this person who was totally bald, no eyebrows, no head scarf, no hat, no wig, no makeup or earrings.
I just assummed (never assume!) this person was male, and it was only when she stood up to go use the restroom (yes, you roll your IV stand with you) I could see she was a woman. She looked about 35 or so, with kind of a mocha complexion, mexican decsent I think. She had this glow about her. I can't explain it. Very magnetic. I introduced my self, her name was Margaurita. We talked. Of coarse I wanted to know about her hair. She lost it 3 months after starting chemo, that was 8 months ago! She said it grows in patchy or not at all in some spots, so she just regularly shaves her head. I asked her, "No wig? no scarf? ever?" She told me she wears a scarf to grocery shop, or when her head gets cold, but thats it. Her answer was very simple when I asked why. She said "I am very comfortable in my own skin." Wow. I'd opt for a nice scarf and earrings I think, maybe even a wig. Still, I was very impressed by her answer. Oh, and her age? She is 54!

Now next to her was this man who was only there about an hour.
His chemo was short. Lucky. He looked like the guys on the Gieco-caveman ads on tv, or Grizzly Adams! Full head of thick brown hair, hairy chin, thick side burns, hairy arms, hairy chest, I pictured his back as being all hairy too, eeeew! lol!

So my point is, the chemo can run the full guantlett, it effects everyone differently. So far, I have been really lucky.

Monday, July 9, 2007

my nails....

I guess my nails aren't growing. I wear acrylic nails. I usually go into the nail salon every monday, for a fill. That is the area right next to your cuticle, as your nail grows, it creates a little gap area and they fill it with acrylic. My nails grow pretty fast, I get the length trimmed, and I always need a fill once a week. Not this week. They just aren't growing. Lets last visit to the nail salon was June 30th. Wow...thats a long time, my nails look like they were just done.

I usually run the razor over my legs (just the knees down) every 2 or 3 days, at the most or they start getting stubble. It has been like 8 days and my legs are atill as smooth as the day I shaved them.

Who knew chemo could be so freakin' convienent! blah....

Friday, July 6, 2007

not yet!

oh no.....on July 4th we went out to breakfast, I was looking at the menu and I realized I was looking at a big ol' clump of my hair ;-(
Then later that day another clump of my hair fell out.
I can't see any bald spots, I think it came from the back of my scalp, underneath, at the hairline. Yes, I knew this was going to happen,
but that doesn't mean I want it too. Depressing.
I also have a sore on the inside of my mouth. I was told that may happen too. Sigh....
I'm still cooking and eating everyday, but I think I've lost a few pounds.
I don't even own a scale, but I can tell by the way my clothes fit.

I think I'll go outside and play around in the garden, plant something, trim something, whatever, that always makes me feel better.

Tuesday, July 3, 2007


Really weird dreams, just crazy weird. Not scary or anything, very entertaining tho! I'm pretty sure thats from the sleep med I've been taking.
I really have had no effects from the chemo to write about.
I do feel more fatigued than usual and my body feels sore.
Like tired muscles. I do feel mental effects tho; spacey, forgetful, and slower thought processes in general. Its like my brain is tired. Maybe it, 'chemo brain' they call it, and I've definately got it. I do not like that feeling at all. ;-( I usually have a mind like a steel trap. They say this is temporary.....good.
Speaking of my research I learned that one of the side effects of chemo is "a temporary hearing loss", it goes on to say that "if you experience hearing loss, be aware it is only temporary, and your hearing will return after treatment ends" OH JOY!! I'm going to get my hearing back! Right on dude!!
(yes I know, I'm not serious about getting it back, I am being very sarcastic, I couldn't help myself)